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Metro Metro Holiday Office Party
A fake holiday office party, for real.
We're dreaming of a fake Office Holiday Party
Even better than the one we had last year
Where people gather
And work themselves into a lather
With the holiday spirit(s), including beer.
We're dreaming of a fake Office Holiday Party
At the same place as last year's location
For a to-be-determined donation
You'll get drink specials and act out a vocation.
We're dreaming of a fake Holiday Office Party
Come copy your face on the machine
We hope you will decide to convene
With us in our fifth annual routine.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Bar 82
136 2nd Ave (between St. Mark's and 9th)
7:00 pm until midnight
$10 entry gets you:
- a free drink
- 2-for-1 domestics and wells
- free chance to win door prizes
- entry into the contest to win even more prizes!
Prizes include:
4 tickets to ASSSCAT at the UCB
Metro Metro Grab Bag
A bottle of South African chili mead
Patrick Swayze Death Bag
Free Reiki Massage
Free Entry into future Metro Metro events
and more!
Feel free to RSVP.
Check out Time Out NY's write-up on the event!
FAQ's
Q: What's the big idea?
A: We would like to partake in the ritual of holiday office parties. But we don't have an office, and our small staff is so sick of each other because the other guys can be so freakin' tiresome. So, we like to think of all of you as our loyal and beloved employees. With the small difference that we tend to make you pay us rather than pay you.Q: I'm still not sure I get it. What would I be getting myself into at this party?
A: As much or as little as you like. You can just come to hang out and take advantage of drink specials. You can play pool. You can dance if you want to. You can leave your friends behind. Or you can bring them with you. And you can participate in the game for prizes.Q: That's what I've been trying to ask. What's the deal with the Game?
A: Oh, that's what you meant. Here's what we are thinking:
The bar is closed to the public, so it's just us. You get drink specials that are still being discussed with the bar. And then on top of that, you get a nametag.
You write your name on the nametag. You then write a theoretical position in the Metro Metro company. It might even include a personality trait. So you might end up having a nametag that says:
if your name happens to be Kathy. Now, what you do with that is up to you. You can do nothing. Or you can live it up as that office character to the furthest your heart or robot brain may desire. People will vote on who best exemplifies the job description on their nametag. That person will win a prize. If you aren't interested in the prize or in acting out the position, then just wear the nametag and enjoy the bar night. It's that easy.
Q: So I can make up whatever title I want? No matter how ridiculous? And wear the attire that suits the job I want, not the job I have?
A: Yeah, that's it! Just keep it on the clean-ish side (for instance, no "I'm the guy at the office who doesn't wear pants and likes to give back massages"). So if you wanted to, you could show up and tell us that you want to be Office Matador. Your nametag might then read:
if you were somehow named Murgatroid. And then you could come dressed as a matador. An office matador. So you see, this is an excellent opportunity to trot out your Halloween costume again. Especially if you masqueraded as an office matador. Or you don't dress up but just act like an office matador. Good luck with that one.
Q: Any suggestions for job titles?
A: Sure. Check out our COMPANY DIRECTORY for some ideas. But do feel free to create your own.Q: What about the Xerox machine? Last year, we were able to make blotchy copies of our body parts and hang them on the wall.
A: We are hoping to have that up and running again. We've purchased new toner and then boiled the whole machine to make it clean again. If the bar lets us bring it, we'll set it up.Q: I've been meaning to tell off this jerk in my office for years now. Will I be able to do that?
A: Sure thing. That's the beauty of an office party of this type. Pick someone and let 'em have it. You don't even have to know them! No physical violence, please.Q: Is there a raffle this year?
A: We think so. A free one - you get a ticket at the door, and perhaps a fabulous prize will be yours!Q: I really just want to win a key to the executive bathroom. How do I do that?
A: Keep your nose to the grindstone, and somebody in upper management might notice you. In the meantime, you may use the bathroom at Bar 82, which is on the left.Q: Can we get you guys some kind of gift?
A: Oh please, that's completely unnecessary. Anything is fine, really.Q: Is there food?
A: Bar 82 doesn't have food, but there are options all around.
Q: What are those food options, specifically?
A: For crying out loud, give us a break.
Q: Why should we give you a break? That was a terrible parody of White Christmas.
A: Awright, knock it off. This is the longest FAQ ever.
